The Baby
by xXriujooXx
Summary: Tony is stuck watching a witness...who just happens to be an infant.


**So I must have written this ages ago...and forgotten about it. I have been in the process of cleaning up my life (which includes the Documents folder on my computer) and I found this thing. I remember that I was inspired to write this after I had a similar experience with a kid while I was working at a grocery store around the corner from my apartment**.

**This story doesn't really have a point, but it just reflects what I (and Tony, since we are like, exactly the same) felt in the moment. **

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**The Baby**

The little monster stared at me from its detached car seat that sat next to my desk. I tried not to look at it, typing for forcefully than necessary to keep myself distracted from its steely gaze of evil. I can't _believe _I had to do this. I mean, can someone say 'overqualified'? I mean, sure, I could handle kids sometimes. But babies? They just sat there and _stared_ at you with their huge eyes making those strange gurgling sounds. There was no way you could make a conversation with them; because they never talked back. They weren't helpful, they couldn't file my paperwork, they couldn't answer my phone when my hands were full. Babies were just useless.

We had found it this morning at a crime scene. Apparently the mother, a Naval Petty officer, was the victim of a fatal hit-and-run…and the kid had miraculously survived the ensuing crash as the SUV had fishtailed into a tree. Ducky had checked the baby over and there wasn't even a bruise as a souvenir of what the little guy had gone through. Luck? Or use of his evil magic powers?

It was a mystery.

Anyway, the next of kin was quickly located as Ziva and Abby occupied _it_, cooing and making those stupid baby noises. I gently poked fun at the way they were acting from across the office, irrationally despising the kid. I was glad when an aunt was located. The woman said she was coming right away. Little did I know that the aunt lived seven hours away.

Damn.

Eventually, Abby had to go back down to forensics, and of course couldn't take the baby (…whose name we found out was Samuel) with her. Ziva amused the kid for a while, but then was taken up with a long distance phone call from some mysterious Israeli acquaintance. Samuel was then passed to McGee, who thankfully did not reduce himself to baby talk. McMultitask did let the kid chew on his free hand as he did geek stuff with the other, however.

But then, about an hour or so later, the moment of doom came. McBabysitter was called down to forensics and Samuel was saddled with me, the lone member of the team left in the squad room. I sighed, defeated, as Probie set the child, nestled gently in its car seat again, next to my desk.

Well, at least I wouldn't have to hold it.

It kept staring at me, which in itself was more distracting than if a parade of Hooters girls had bounced around in front of my desk in wet t shirts. In my frustrated and distracted state, I pressed a wrong key on my keyboard and it made the clunky 'error' sound.

The kid on the floor next to me laughed.

I didn't know babies could laugh. I stared down at it in shock, and the kid was grinning at me from his car seat, eyes dancing and mouth open in supreme, genuine, toothless enjoyment. It was so happy, that I suddenly felt the feeling creeping up inside me as well. I pressed the wrong key again, the computer protested, and the kid laughed again.

I started smiling against my will. I just couldn't help it. There was just something about the innocence and purity of the child's simple amusement that turned a light on inside. I pressed the key again, and achieved the same result.

The seventh time I made the sound, something different happened. Samuel laughed, just like normal, but then with an added motion as he squirmed and reached his arms up out towards me.

What the hell did that mean?

I stared at the kid, hoping that it would somehow tell me what it wanted, give me another clue. _First word, first syllable…?_ But who was I kidding. I was never any good at charades.

I pressed the button again, hoping this would reset the previous game and we could go back to just laughing at each other. But instead of laughter, the boy looked upset. I pressed the button again. _Laugh, dammit. This is funny, remember?_ Instead, the damn kid started to get fussy.

Shit. I didn't want the kid to start crying in the office. That was something I _definitely _couldn't handle.

"He wants you to pick him up, Tony," Gibbs' voice said quietly from behind me. I jumped, and looked around to see my boss leaning over the partition that separated my desk space from the main walkway.

"Um…" I trailed off, not really wanting to admit that I had no idea how to do that. Wasn't there some complicated trick to holding babies?

Gibbs sighed at my apparent ineptitude, came around to my desk and lifted Samuel out of his car seat on the floor. The hardened ex-Marine comforted the baby with calm words as he held it and I watched on with dumbstruck awe.

"How are you doing that?" I asked him after a moment.

"There are some things you never forget, DiNozzo," he said simply, and I backed away from the subject, knowing we had breached the taboo Shannon-and-Kelly territory. Boss held his arms out, a gesture that I should take the kid. "You're in charge of the witness," he said. "You hold him. I'm busy."

"But I…" I started to protest as Gibbs deposited the kid in my arms. "Witness?" I asked weakly as Samuel stared up at me again from the crook of my arm.

"He was there when the crime occurred," Gibbs said. "Ergo…witness."

And then he left.

Damn.

Samuel continued to look at me, and this time I stared back. Something weird was going on inside my brain. It was actually a _nice_ feeling, holding this kid. Maybe he wasn't so evil after all. I rocked my arms back and forth, following some odd urge that I couldn't explain. Sam smiled again and snuggled himself against my chest, closing his eyes.

"No…nonononono…" I protested. "Don't you dare go to sleep!" I warned him, but my request went unheeded. He promptly went to sleep in my arms, sucking gently on his thumb and grabbing onto my shirt with the other hand.

_Shit._

I looked up at my computer, but on the way there my eyes caught sight of Ziva. She was staring at me with the strangest look in her eyes, still holding the phone up to her ear. Her mouth was hanging open slightly, but she was not talking into the receiver.

"What?" I asked her nonchalantly, as if babies fell asleep on me at the office every day.

My voice jerked her out of her stupor and she came back to life, looking first at the phone, discovering that the other end had hung up, and softly replacing it back on its cradle on the edge of her desk.

"Uh, nothing," she said quickly, turning back to her computer and typing furiously. "I've just never seen you with a child before."

"You've seen me around kids!"

"Yeah, but…well…I've always got the impression that you tend to avoid them."

"Ms. David, I do not _avoid_ children. I just tend to…keep distance between us. For the sake of the future generation."

"True. It would not do for you to be corrupting the nation's youth into joining you in your philandering ways."

"Ouch. That hurt."

"Do you know when his aunt is going to pick him up?"

"She said she would get here around 2100," I said.

"That's about...four hours from now," she stated. "Are you going to hold him the whole time?"

"You can have him," I said, my voice eager but my heart reluctant.

"No, I don't want to distub him while he's sleeping. It'll give us some time to get work done."

"Speak for yourself. You don't have a cutesy distraction in your arms." Samuel was grasping little handfuls of my shirt and sleeping deeply in my arms. I didn't have the heart to move him now.

Ziva could see this too. She got up and walked softly over to me, an unreadable expression on her face as she gazed at me and Sam. "What are you going to do?" she asked me. "You obviously can't work with your hands full like that."

"I can do what I do best," I said, leaning back slowly in my chair and closing my eyes.

"Seduce women?"

"No...Sleep. But I bet I can pick up _so many_ women with Sam here. Oh, the possiblities..." I sighed.

"I do not think Gibbs would like it if you were sleeping on the job."

"He left me in charge of the witness."

"I did not know that meant to adopt the habits of a thirteen month old baby."

"It was implied."

"Sure it was," she said, a small smile crossing her features. My eyes remained closed, but I felt Ziva gently run her fingers along my hairline as a soothing gesture. "Sleep well, Tony," she whispered before going back to her desk.

I actually had no intention of sleeping, but I ended up dozing off anyway. The weight of the child in my arms was comforting, and the little hands clutching onto my shirt had awakened something strange inside me. I wondered what it would be like to have a son, to teach him about football and girls, to watch him grow, play and learn. It must be an amazing feeling to have a child, someone that looks up to you and loves you unconditionally. I thought about Agent Matthews over on Hayes' team, his son's soccer trophies and photos of his daughter plastered all around his desk. And for the first time, I was actually jealous of the shrimpy, McGeeish agent.

I was jerked awake from my accidental slumber by Ziva tapping me roughly on the shoulder. There was a moment of despair when I realized that the child was no longer in my arms; I thought I had dropped him. But then I saw that Ziva was holding him close, and that his blue eyes were staring up at me with piercing focus. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"His aunt is almost here," she said. "McGee is escorting her upstairs now."

"It's 2100 already?" I asked despondently, not ready to say goodbye to the little tyke just yet.

"It's actually 2035," she said, looking at the clock on my desk. "She is earlier than estimated."

I sat up quickly and began to readjust my rumpled clothes. Ziva still seemed to want to say something, so I kept quiet and waited for her to speak. She didn't.

"You going to say what's on your mind or do I have to guess?" I asked her finally, standing up and pulling my tie back into order.

"It's just...strange, you know. Seeing this side of you."

"What side of me?"

"Watching you handling this baby. It just had me thinking."

"About?"

"About the fact that you might actually have matured after all."

"Me? No way," I said facetiously, a grin spreading across my face.

"Yes. I think it's an improvement."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"You wanna discuss these mature changes over…dinner? Or some other form of contact?"

Her eyebrows arched. "And….then the moment is gone. Way to ruin a compliment, Tony."

"Well, I don't want to ruin my reputation."

"So you would rather be known as a playboy womanizer than a sensitive, caring person?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Sam giggled from his place in Ziva's arms. "See? The kid is on my side."

"How do you know he just wasn't laughing _at_ you?" she countered, rolling her eyes and walking towards the elevator to greet Sam's aunt and McGee.

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**Anyone have any thoughts on the last NCIS episode, Knockout? I love episode discussion.  
...Or wanna join me in sending hate brainwaves to Director Vance? **

**Reviews are always appreciated. **


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